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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 4:47 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:38 am
Posts: 588
Location: Kitchener / Waterloo
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.


Jeff.

_________________
Some people are like slinkies, not much good for anything but they put a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs.


Make a fast friend. Adopt a greyhound.
WAGG. Waterloo Area Greyhound Group.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:13 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 7:47 pm
Posts: 420
not sure how i missed this one,

thank you!

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I don't care what anyone says, a bullpup crossbow is a BAD idea!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:31 pm
Posts: 141
Location: Quebec
As a pilot i resent this thread.










but some of them are funny.


fab


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:40 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:11 am
Posts: 567
Location: Lake Simcoe Ontario,Canada
As a pilot; I love this thread!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:22 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:46 pm
Posts: 3013
Location: Canada
I thought it was funny...even if it's wrong.

Dad was an ame .... went to tech school...(SAIT).


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:03 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:42 am
Posts: 4130
Location: Windsor, Ont
"P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level."

That's my favorite, made me laugh out loud while alone in my basement :lol: I've read these before in a email I think...

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"It's just a springer..."


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