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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 1:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:35 pm
Posts: 11367
Location: P.G. B.C.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes
of the show!)


Q . Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.


Q.. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love
You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?


A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE
STOP LAUGHING

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Best Wishes
Daryl


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 1:58 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 9:21 pm
Posts: 2845
Location: Greater Napanee, ON, Canada
Funny or sad, I'm not sure, but I actually remember some of those lines, like the one about Jackie Gleason.

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Tim
CAFTA Governor and lifetime learner


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:01 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2007 4:19 pm
Posts: 9518
Location: Coalmont BC
My wife and I both enjoyed those.... a blast from the past.... Thanks!

Bob

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Dominion Marksman Silver Shield - 5890 x 6000 in 1976, and downhill ever since!
Airsonal; Too many! Springers, Pumpers, CO2, but I love my PCPs and developing them!
Proud Member of the 2000+fps Club!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:49 am
Posts: 6030
Location: Victoria, BC and Clarkston, WA
I was a youngster and enjoyed that show!
Thanks Daryl!
:D

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-Rick

Brocock Concept .22
3 Crosman MK 1 pistol .22


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:13 am
Posts: 4030
Location: Toronto
I used to love that show and can picture them all and hear the voices when reading these.
Great stuff thanks.

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Keep you powder dry and your seals oiled.
Shoot straight and safe.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:13 am
Posts: 4030
Location: Toronto
I just watched a bunch on YouTube. What a blast from the past.

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Keep you powder dry and your seals oiled.
Shoot straight and safe.

http://plinkercases.ca/


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 9:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:41 pm
Posts: 1253
Location: Brant County
I could barely make it past the first one through the tears! :prayer: awesomeness and remind me to stock up on pineapples and $20's 8)

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It's better to die quick fighting on your feet, then to live forever begging on your knees - Lamb Of God


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:23 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:28 am
Posts: 82
I didn't watch it often, but the lines they came up with.....thanks for the good laughs.

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Daisy PoweLine 953
Diana Panther 21
Beeman P-17
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