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 Post subject: Some Groaners
PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:04 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 9:29 am
Posts: 128
Location: King Twp ON
for those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well asthe idiosyncrasies of english:

1 don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where allthe
bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's theself- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right toremain silent?

19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow roadsigns?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? (algae-bra)

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of"assterrhoids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?


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 Post subject: Re: Some Groaners
PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 10:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:32 pm
Posts: 309
Location: Sherwood Park, AB
All good questions. I liked this one best:
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?’

My thought: Some monkeys and apes decided it was the wrong way to go. They might have been right...

OzzieM


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 Post subject: Re: Some Groaners
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 7:08 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 1:21 am
Posts: 1137
Location: Toronto, Ontario
I like #30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of"assterrhoids"?

_________________

Megiddo65


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