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 Post subject: UPS AIR CARGO:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2015 9:29 am
Posts: 128
Location: King Twp ON
As you sit on the runway waiting to take off.....

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search



P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



And the best one for last



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer

S: Took hammer away from midget.


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 Post subject: Re: UPS AIR CARGO:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 11:05 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:35 pm
Posts: 5411
Location: P.G. B.C.
Those are good, real or not.

_________________
Best Wishes
Daryl

Air Force Condor .25
Umarex Gauntlet .22
Air Force Talon .177
HW97 KT .177
HW98 .22
Brocock Concept .22
Artemis PP700S-A .22


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 Post subject: Re: UPS AIR CARGO:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:21 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 2:20 pm
Posts: 123
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Here are some UPS crash video for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_oIQnTHgJ8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uirah9JRweI


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