Canadian Airgun Forum

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers.



FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!


FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.


FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences

in a single bound.



COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.



JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.



WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.



FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


Statement of the century
Thought from the greatest living Scottish thinker

-- Billy Connolly: "If women are so bloody

perfect at multitasking, how come they can't

have a headache and sex at the same time?"





Children are quick





TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got

here.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing

your math multiplication on the floor?



JOHN: You told me to do it without

using tables.



__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell

'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you

asked me how I spell it.



(I love this child)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the

chemical formula for water?



DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking

about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's

H to O.



__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one

important thing we have today that

we didn't have ten years ago.



WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always

get so dirty?



GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the

ground than you are.



_______________________________________



TEACHER: George Washington not

only chopped down his father's cherry

tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,

do you know why his father didn't

punish him?



LOUIS: Because George still had the

axe in his hand.

_________________



TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly,

do you say prayers before eating?



SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum

is a good cook.



______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on

'My Dog' is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy his?



CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.



(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a

person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?



HAROLD: A teacher.

__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE

SOMEONE LAUGH!



Due to current economic conditions the

light at the end of the tunnel has been

turned off

Ya it is.

I find that a lot of humour in tv and movies is based in vulgarity, slapstick, and stupidity.

While British is based in intellegence.

_________________
Be The Pellet

Or should I say Intelligence

_________________
Be The Pellet