Interestng quotes ..

[Parker_101_]

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns



Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge



Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor



Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine



My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield



Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery
- Spike Milligan


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was "SHUT UP".

- Joe Namath



I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields



We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation.

As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill




Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller




By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal



And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out!

[quickreply7789]

good luagh.
thank you for the clean humour.