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 [ Total topics 1685 Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 169

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 Post subject: Two farmers were talking
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 6:20 am 
Two farmers were talking, and one told the other that he was in the market for a new bull. It seems like the bull had lost his desire to "service" the farmer's cows. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to get rid of him" he said sadly. The other farmer asked if he had the veterinarian check his bull's semen. the first farmer said, "No, hadn't thought of that. I guess it's worth a shot." ...

Read more : Two farmers were talking | Views : 170 | Replies : 3

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 Post subject: Being a goalie myself ....
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2019 7:24 am 
I found this funny when I seen it on TV for the first time this morning.

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/InlY/geico-walrus-goalie#

Read more : Being a goalie myself .... | Views : 135 | Replies : 0

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 Post subject: Cranky Woman
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 9:35 pm 
An exceptionally cranky woman "in her twilight years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches ...

Read more : Cranky Woman | Views : 293 | Replies : 1

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 Post subject: Ask the genie...
PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:48 pm 
A guy is walking down the street and asks for a light from a man smoking a cigarette outside a bar. The man pulls from his pocket a very large Bic lighter and lights the cigarette. "Wow! where did you get that lighter?" he asks. The man replies "from the genie in the bathroom". He goes on to say that if you go into the bar, into the restroom, into stall #2 and flush the ...

Read more : Ask the genie... | Views : 218 | Replies : 2

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 Post subject: Not a Morning Person
PostPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2019 8:35 pm 
Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.

One day the boss called him in to the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do ...

Read more : Not a Morning Person | Views : 243 | Replies : 2

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 Post subject: OOPs
PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 5:35 am 
A man goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello. He's rather taken back because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the ...

Read more : OOPs | Views : 304 | Replies : 6

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 Post subject: Heaven vs Hell
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 11:26 pm 
Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are French, the
mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organized by the
Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the
lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organized by the Italians.

Read more : Heaven vs Hell | Views : 197 | Replies : 0

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 Post subject: Student Says He's Too Smart For First Grade
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2019 5:14 am 
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, "I'm too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."

The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer ...

Read more : Student Says He's Too Smart For First Grade | Views : 200 | Replies : 4

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 Post subject: Cover Your Keyboard
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 10:50 am 
If you have any coffee in your mouth, swallow it now.... :roll:

My wife hit me with this little gem this morning....

"If I was a plastic surgeon, I would put a squeeky-toy in every breast implant".... :shock:

Don't say I didn't warn you.... :lol:

Bob

Read more : Cover Your Keyboard | Views : 284 | Replies : 6

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 Post subject: Pre Med
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2019 6:51 pm 
A sophomore pre-med student was struggling with differential calculus (as many of us did).
He asked for a meeting with his advisor to discuss his options.
The young student vented to his advisor, “I want to be a doctor, I will never use calculus in my practice!
This is a waste of my time, calculus is useless!”

His advisor gave the student a knowing smile and replied,

“No, differential calculus is quite useful, it prevents ...

Read more : Pre Med | Views : 214 | Replies : 0

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 [ Total topics 1685 Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 169


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